


much hetero about nothing

by winchysteria



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Teachers, M/M, Teacher Castiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-02
Updated: 2016-05-02
Packaged: 2018-06-05 21:43:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6724690
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/winchysteria/pseuds/winchysteria
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>based on a text post- the students want to set up Guy Teacher with Girl Teacher, all the while one kid insists Guy Teacher can't be interested. "god, sam, not everything is gay!" they say, scheming to set up their teachers anyway. except it is. it is gay.</p>
            </blockquote>





	much hetero about nothing

**Author's Note:**

  * For [apiaristcas (littlelionbabe)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/littlelionbabe/gifts).



> based on [this post](http://winchysteria.tumblr.com/post/141994345038/hotter-than-potter-gay-venclaw-person-a-is-a) also, i HAD to make castiel the english teacher. the reference was just too good.  
> [Here I am on tumblr!](http://winchysteria.tumblr.com/)  
> 

"It's like he's  _trying_ to ruin my life, I swear," Ava says, sounding a little strangled.

Mr. Novak, thank God, is too focused on Kevin's textbook to notice which direction his ass is pointed in, or the effects that it's having. Not a day goes by that Sam doesn't feel weird about this class. If he had his way, he would never have a conscious thought about his teacher's skinny jeans, but in the manner of all unself-conscious hot people, Mr. Novak inspires a lot of chatter.

Among the sixteen-year-olds in third period British Lit.

Some days are worse than others. Becky and Ava's adoration is at least mostly-innocent hero worship, with a lot of stammering and blushing, which Sam can kind of sympathize with. Meg's gets- weird, and detailed. And those are just the girls within earshot. The rest of the class looks pretty swoony, too, when Mr. Novak runs his hands through his hair or rolls up the sleeves on his button-downs. He's one of the school's younger teachers, which would be enough on its own, but he's also compellingly into his subject matter, and sure, he's six feet tall.

"Can you guys, like, not talk about this?" Sam hisses at the cluster behind him.

Becky looks at him beseechingly. "I have to let it out, Sam. Look at him. His eyes are  _luminous_. Every second he stands in that sunbeam is a fresh second of torture, and then it'll somehow be worse when he steps out of it. Look at the little bit of red in his hair, look at how  _blue_ -"

Ava reaches out to smack her on the shoulder. "He's looking over here, dumbass. Snap out of it."

"Thank you, peanut gallery," Mr. Novak says, when Sam's corner quiets down. "I see you're really getting into the spirit of  _Much Ado About Nothing_ _._

"And their interpretation is pretty spot-on," he continues, addressing the rest of the class now. "If you read it right, this is all wordplay and gossip, scene after scene of witty repartee and misunderstandings. Everyone wants to put their two cents in; everyone thinks they're right. There's a reason it's a comedy. A good ninety percent of the plot could be bypassed if these characters had any communication skills at all."

Mr. Novak turns to write on the whiteboard, and the class sighs dreamily, in unison. Sam stabs his leg with his mechanical pencil.

"Now let's talk about the way Shakespeare treats agency- shit. I mean shoot."

Behind Sam, Becky makes a noise like a slowly-deflating balloon.

"Sorry, class, I appear to have sent all my markers to an early grave. I'm going to run across the way for a loan; please refrain from building a crime syndicate in my absence," Mr. Novak says apologetically, then half-jogs into the hall.

As soon as he's gone, the class erupts into a mild roar. "Even his  _handwriting_ is hot," Hannah says, looking a little pissed off about it.

"He sure goes over to Ms. Bradbury's a lot," Bela points out with a smirk.

The very floor shakes as Becky collapses to her desk. "Oh my god, that's so perfect," she half-sobs. "They're both so beautiful."

"Okay, for once I'm with Rosen," Ruby says. "That totally works."

Sam shoots her a look of absolute betrayal. "What, Winchester? It's cute."

"You guys," Sam starts. "I'm pretty sure-"

Benny half-waves in his direction. "She's nice, she's funny, she's pretty, _and_ she's nerdy. Let them fall in dorky love," he drawls.

More than ever, Sam wishes Anna was in this class. "No, you guys, trust me. Mr. Novak is  _not_ on the market for a girlfriend," he immediately regrets saying.

The entire class turns in Sam's direction. "Okay, Green Giant," Meg retorts, clapping a hand on his shoulder from behind. "Just because  _you're_ pansexual, doesn't mean everything is gay. We got this one, kiddo."

Sam squeaks in disbelief. Meg ruffles his hair before sinking back into her chair, humming thoughtfully as Mr. Novak reenters the room.

* * *

The next day, Mr. Novak forgoes the white button-down for a black one that is, according to Becky, even more distracting, and his unsolicited courtship of Ms. Bradbury begins.

"It's perfect," Ava whispers.

According to Becky, Mr. Novak always goes to the teacher's lounge for more coffee between second and third periods. Bela sprung for the elaborately-wrapped chocolates, and Kevin even deigned to use his freakish forging abilities on the "from your secret admirer" tag. They exchange satisfied little high-fives as Mr. Novak enters the room.

Sam tries to will himself into sinking through the floor.

"Oh, that's so nice," Mr. Novak says, eyes lighting on the box on his desk.

Behind Sam and to the right, Meg snorts derisively. For the first and probably the last time in his life, Sam agrees with her.

Their teacher flips up the note, right corner of his mouth twitching. " _The laughter crinkles_ ," Becky breathes at a whisper.

"Well, this is very kind of someone," Mr. Novak says, smiling brilliantly. "It's just too bad I don't have much of a sweet tooth. Excuse me, Ms. Bradbury!"

Ava gasps delightedly, hands flying to her sternum.

"What's up, Mr. Novak," the other teacher says, sidling in with a bouquet. "Oh, hey, you have a secret admirer too!"

"I do indeed, but I shouldn't eat this much chocolate. Trade?" For a second, it is a really cute tableau: Mr. Novak extending his arm with the box of chocolates in an almost childlike way, and Ms. Bradbury grinning at him as she hugs the flowers to her chest.

"I can think of someone else who shouldn't eat that much chocolate," she says impishly, passing over the bouquet. "But it is  _not_ me. Thanks, dude!"

Mr. Novak takes a deep whiff of the daisies, then excuses himself to find some water and a vase.

"Well, that was a little bit of a bust," Meg says. "Wonder if they'll notice that their tokens are from the same Whole Foods."

"How much did you drop on those?" Sam asks Bela mildly.

Her lips pinch into a thin white line before she turns back to hiss at Becky, who's been inhaling squeakily for a while now. "Will you deflate, Rosen? Christ!"

Becky shakes her head soundlessly.

* * *

 

"It didn't work out exactly to plan, but they were still  _uh-_ dorable," Ava says decisively. "They just need another little push."

"Ava, I _really_ don't-" Sam begins.

"Don't need your negativity, Sam," Benny says. "Now hush, he's coming."

Mr. Novak waves wordlessly on his way in, mouth full of bagel. Meg takes the opportunity to start right in:

"Hey, Novak, do you know if Ms. Bradbury is single? My dad wants to ask her out."

The teacher half-chokes on his bite of bagel, and Sam cringes. Mr. Novak pounds his chest a few times with his right fist, clears his throat, takes a sip of coffee. "I don't exactly think that's an appropriate topic, Ms. Masters."

"She's just wondering," Becky says. "Cause, you know, Ms. Bradbury is super pretty."

"I mean, you agree, don't you?" Bela cuts in. "I think she's gorgeous. And funny, too; I actually like history when she teaches it."

Mr. Novak is still very red, apparently not quite recovered from the bagel yet. "Ms. Bradbury is a good friend and a very  _professional_ colleague," he forces out.

Sam buries his face in his hands, peering out with one eye between his middle and ring finger. The entire class looks somewhere between uncomfortable and on board.

"I mean, Meg's dad is pretty hot, too," Ava says, because this can't get worse. "And he's got  _money._ Like, way more than a teacher's salary, probably. I'd totally say yes if I were her."

Mr. Novak busies himself with the projector, back turned to the class. He sounds a little like he's still choking.

"He hasn't asked her yet, Ava, God," Meg says. "Someone else could still swoop in. You know, speak now or whatever."

"Well  _I_ think-" Ruby is cut off by Mr. Novak's business voice.

"Okay, class, unless you're champing at the bit to annotate four chapters of that biography of Shakespeare, I suggest you stop speculating on the marital status of your history teacher," he says, eyes beginning to gather thunderclouds, "who is an interesting person for a great many reasons apart from her romantic relationships. Which, coincidentally, are  _none. Of. Your. Business._ "

Sam sits up with a smirk. Ava turns to glare at him. He holds his hands up innocently.

"He's actually hotter this way," Meg mutters unhappily.

* * *

Ruby swirls in, looking utterly triumphant. "If it's going to be done, I just did it," she says, eyes alight in a way that makes Sam edgy. And a little turned on.

He's sixteen, okay.

"Did  _what_?" Becky asks nervously.

"You'll see, Rosen. You'll see," Ruby says, then reconsiders. "Okay, fine. So we established that they have chemistry, right? And then we got him thinking about her, made him jealous, even. Now, we just have to get them-" she holds her hands up about a foot from each other, then pushes in slowly- " _together._ "

Sam laughs nervously. "So, you...?"

Ruby's dagger-toothed smile widens a little further. "I broke Ms. Bradbury's lock."

"You  _what?"_ Kevin shrieks.

"Oh my god, Ruby DiAngelo, you absolute badass," Meg says admiringly. "You've really committed."

"Thanks," Ruby says breathlessly. "I just jiggled a bobby pin around in there till it broke off. You know what, Sam, I started out just wanting to prove you wrong, but this is a  _thrill._ I'll honestly be a little pissed if they don't get together after all I've done for them."

Sam pinches the bridge of his nose. "Ruby, I literally cannot tell you how sure I am that that won't happen."

When he looks back up at her, she's shaking her head as if in pity.

"Oh, Sam-"

"Sure, Charlie." Mr. Novak's voice comes from just around the corner. "Your class can stay with us for as long as it takes to figure this out. Mine was getting kind of-  _odd_ , anyway."

Ms. Bradbury sweeps in first, followed by her own herd of sophomores. Anna beelines it to Sam as Mr. Novak announces that they're having trouble unlocking Ms. Bradbury's classroom.

"Why," Anna hisses, "Is everyone trying to set my cousin up with my teacher?"

Sam shrugs up at her, then scootches over so Anna can fit on the chair too. Ms. Bradbury and Mr. Novak confer at the front of the room for a few minutes, probably patching together some kind of lesson plan.

"'Scuse me?" says a deep, bemused voice from the doorway.

Mr. Novak looks up, and there it is. Becky never had a chance- this is a _devastatingly_ sunny smile, eye crinkles and relaxed shoulders and all. "Hello, Dean."

"Heya, Cas," Dean says, beaming back, then- "Hey, Charlie. Thought you taught across the hall?"

The third-period British Lit class has almost gotten used to their very handsome teacher. They are not prepared for a second very handsome man, and Sam is mature enough to admit that Dean's a good-looking guy. Becky is catatonic. Meg looks like her smile is about to split her in half, Cheshire-cat style. Mostly, the class looks a little shell-shocked. It's utterly, petrifyingly quiet.

Dean glances around the overcrowded classroom for a moment with a blend of confusion and amusement. "Right," he says, focusing back in on Mr. Novak after a few interminable seconds. "I, uh, I have your lunch. You left it on the counter again, rocket scientist." He holds out a red box by the strap.

Mr. Novak claps a hand to his forehead. "Of course, I knew I forgot something. Thank you-"

"Hey, you didn't make me a lunch?" Ms. Bradbury interrupts petulantly.

Dean winks at her. "It's a service I provide for people I'm marrying. You've got a lot of work to do."

Mr. Novak waves her off, taking his lunch with a grateful smile. He puts a hand on the back of Dean's neck, pulls him in gently for a short, work-appropriate kiss. The room stays calm, barely, until their teacher says "Thanks, babe."

 _"Oh my god,"_ Becky whispers.

"No problem, angel," Dean replies.

The class explodes.

* * *

Dean steals another, slightly longer kiss, broken off when his fiancé starts to giggle. "Your students seem nice," Dean says, then slips away as Sam stands on his chair to shout  _I FUCKING TOLD YOU GUYS._

Sam regrets this later, but only a little.

Ruby regrets pushing him off, but only a little.

"Whatever," she says, as he prods at his bloody nose outside the principal's office. "So you were right about that one. We can still set up Ms. Bradbury- I see her hanging out with Ash the IT guy a lot."

Sam looks to the heavens for strength.

 

 

 

 


End file.
